You are deciding how to pack for a 3.5 week trip to Southeast Asia. Do you:

a) find a promising looking 46l pack and then revisit the same hiking shop twice more over three days deliberating whether it will be big enough, finally deciding it will after googling for packing advice on your phone to find a backpacking article which says that travelling light is the one true way to exploration nirvana?

c) pack all your worldly possessions into two small suitcases, move house, choose a tiny 32l pack over Skype which will fit 6 items of clothing which can be worn in a total of 712 ways, several phrasebooks, and large amounts of sickly sweet cough medicine?

e) opt for a rather charming and slightly oversized brown leather pouch from World War One, together with a 36l pack with attachments for two shoes which masquerade very effectively as two extra suitcases surreptitiously enough that no airline hostesses bat an eyelid when you take them on the plane as hand luggage?

You’re feeling social and decide to check out the local nightlife. Where do you go?

a) You read every Lonely Planet publication and internet review for the best spots, and use Google Maps to successfully navigate to a beach party/concert of local music where you purchase a rá nâat and jam along.

c) You accidentally accept an offer from a John who asks to “enjoy” you, and after realizing your mistake and fleeing the scene, you spend the rest of the night practicing the Thai phrases for rejection.

e) You befriend two Thais who turn out to be diplomats who gift you an elephant on which you ride to Cambodia.

The sun is up and Bangkok is bustling. Wake up! What is your breakfast choice?

a) You don’t dare open your eyes before 10am. Ask again later …

c) You haven’t exactly eaten in five days, but when you see a stall selling Pad Thai, you are instantly transformed into a drooling mutant and scarf down three servings in one bite.

e) Strange new food makes you happy. You search out unrecognizable treats from street vendors, then skip off to find a boat ride, temple, or whatever might be around the corner before your companions are even conscious.

After deciding to part ways for a few days to explore your favorite parts of Thailand, you arrive at BKK airport at your designated meeting point only to find your companions are missing. Do you:

a) write a computer program which hijacks government satellites and tracks down your friends?

c) never actually make it to the airport as you are still lost in a national forest somewhere in central Thailand?

e) buy a tuk-tuk in a chance encounter with a newfound Thai friend and drive it to Hanoi to meet them?

You’ve been elected to choose lodgings in your next destination. Do you choose:

a) a room with ensuite bathroom, fast wifi, and at least 42 power outlets to charge your gadgets

c) the forest, as you are still lost and cannot find a hotel

e) a tin hut with local children, for the fee of a harmonica lesson

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